"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4
On one occasion, I had to get two brothers together who somehow had a snag in their relationship. These two dear men are very close to my heart. The problem which I thought was a very simple one erupted into a big conflict. I had to call on the deacons board to get the two of them together. One leader was accusing the other of lying while the other was accusing his offended brother of mis-judging him. The meeting went on on and on without getting to the end of it. I was getting frustrated at both of them that I asked them, whom I believe are mature Christians, if it is right for them to end the evening without forgiving each other or at least giving each other the benefit of the doubt. I was able to coax them to shake each other's hands but what really happened is that both egos prevailed and we left that situation unsettled which I believe continues to this day!
Sad but true, many of us are living our lives wanting to be right rather than doing the right thing, which is to reconcile with our brother. No, I am not saying we need to compromise our biblical principles. But if the brother explained away what you pointed out to him as his fault then let the explanation be his accountability to God! I am my brother's keeper but God is his judge. I must give my brother the benefit of the doubt. Though he may fool me, he can never fool God.
Benefit of the doubt . . . . . it is like the "white flag" that we give each other to allow one party to clarify himself without hostility. It is the room we need to be understood or to make adjustments to correct what was done. How I wish that we will all give this room to those who offended us: the benefit of the doubt before we cast our judgment on another person with what we saw or heard that is offensive to us.
Philemon I believe gave this benefit of the doubt to Paul ignoring what he may have heard from detractors or perceived from the appearance of the closeness of Paul and Onesimus, his enemy. He could have listened to those who could concoct stories of what Onesimus might be feeding Paul against Philemon. He could have allowed his suspicions that Paul might be taking the side of Onesimus for allowing him to live with him. Don't we expect our friends to become enemies of our enemies too?
Philemon trusted Paul too much. He always believed that Paul will never believe any accusations against him without talking to him first. Paul was a loyal godly friend. His concern was always for Philemon's spiritual welfare. Paul deserved the benefit of the doubt. And of course, he turned out to be right. What Paul heard about Philemon was his faith and his love for all the saints, which included Onesimus, his worst enemy. v. 5
Benefit of the doubt calls for us to think highly of each other. It demands that we look at the interest of others first before our own concerns. Benefit of the doubt is what others need from us. It is what we need to avoid rash judgment and prolonged misunderstandings. It facilitates a gracious sit down talk before any conclusion is made.
How I wish that we will all offer each other the benefit of the doubt. Maybe some of us, who hardly talked to someone related to us for years would have not missed the joy of fellowshipping with others if we did not fail to give each of them the benefit of the doubt.
Well friend, if I offended you with what I said here, I hope you will offer me the benefit of the doubt. I will be very grateful if you do.
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